Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

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Michael Brown

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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Where was susie after the explosion? Everywhere

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Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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If everyone in China jumped up and down at the same time they would lose all credibility as a nation for organising such a pointless excursion.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why couldn't the bartender sell alcoholic beverages? He got fired

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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Why did the Wife cheat on her Husband? Because she was a f***ing BITCH.

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Do you know any anti-jokes. Yeah, I do. It's a bit pointless though.

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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This is a random Anti joke.

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Gus's mom

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What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

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Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

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There is a man laying on the floor in a pool of blood and vomit, there is a broken beer bottle in a puddle of beer next to him. He thinks is a sponge.Purple

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

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you know why Michael J Fox makes the best milkshakes? no... but his milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard

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Why did the weiner dog have a bad childhood? Uncle Monty put his foot up its arse on a daily basis before chewing dorris's nose, ears and eyelids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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