Guess what? What? Your dog is dead.

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If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?

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Why is Wednesday a bad day? Because at some point, Monday will come around again.

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What do you call a Muslim guy on a plane? A passenger.

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You see the love of your life. You can't say anything. She walks toward you. You can't move. She sits on you. You can't do anything. She starts crapping on you. You realize your a toilet. -Adam Chebali

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Why is Chuck Norris so frickin awesome? He just is cause he's chuck norris

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why do you park in the driveway and drive on the park way

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was really frogger in disguise

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

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Why did i try to write a funny joke? Cuz i was desperately bored.....

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How do you have fun while stuck in traffic? Play bumper cars!

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Why didn't the Mexican have a job? Because stereotypes made employers unjustly reluctant to hire a hard-working, competent man.

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A lumberjack wearing women's underwear under his clothes walks into a bar. Several Canadian Mounties stand up and surround him, compliment him on his cooking and offer to go looking for some wild flowers for his herb collection.

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jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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How do you judge a black person? By the content of their character.

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There's a tray of muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "man it's hot in here!" Another muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

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A horse walked into a bar, and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?". The horse replied, "It's evolutionarily efficient to have an elongated skull so that I can eat vegetation with ease."

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

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You wanna see something really scary?

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What would Chuck Norris do if you insulted him? Nothing. He probably doesn't have time for such foolishness.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops