Dad: sussy, do you know how you were made? Sussy: No, how? Dad: With this DICK!!

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A victim of an alcohol related car accident

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*Click* "Hello you have reached a pre-recorded voice at the suicide hotline. We regret to inform you that our consultant has suffered a recent bout of depression due to the sheer volume of calls he has received." "His body was found this morning, hanging from a tree." [L]

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Why did Jerry Sandusky appeal his conviction? Because the judge wrongly considered inadmissible evidence.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had different colors of hair.

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Alot of people try to make shitty jokes on this webpage, thinking they're funny. They aren't.

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The EPA.

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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yo mammas so fat when she runs the world spins faster

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was getting chased by a pedophile

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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What do you call a chicken? You say bawk bawk bawk bawk cockadoodledoo

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

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What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the low cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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What did the golfer do when he hit a shot with a lot of pressure on him into the water? He dropped another ball and continued on, for golf is a civilized game and bad manners are prohibited.

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Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Jake did Why did Isaac cross the road? Because mum told him not to Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Maya was there

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What is long, hard and comes out of a gay persons bum? poo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops