Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Robert Mugabe.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's as hard as a rock? A rock

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Is that my bread? I sure hope so.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Wy couldn't the T-rex grab the other Dinosor? A: Because he is extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A black guy wearing a mask runs into a store, points his gun at the cashier, steals some money and runs out. The police start an investigation the following morning

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats black and strange a paki

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Doctor doctor, i think i need glasses! Go to an opticians then...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

thumb_up thumb_down +11

My peni s

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops