a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the boy say 9+9 was? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the boy lick the window? He had Down's syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

thumb_up thumb_down +17

how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

thumb_up thumb_down +17

5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops