Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

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You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse then the Holocaust? Two Holocausts

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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What's brown, smelly, and will never have a job? Poop.

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What do you call 5 black guys at the bottom of the ocean? scuba divers

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What do you call the branch of Science that separates the organism's race? RACISM

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Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

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why did graeme go to olivias house to do fun things

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How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

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You mom is to dumb when she herd about Walgreens she thout all the walls were green

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Where did the girl go after the explosion? Everywhere

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a young mother cow died in a street crossing by a large oil truck, she was never buried and became infested with maggots in the next few days

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What's the difference between getting hit by a car and being struck by lightning? Impossible to tell, they are 2 entirely different circumstances with limited certainties.

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Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? a hospital fire.

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What do you call a man with no arms? A: A Man with no arms.

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Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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