If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Have you seen the new Spiderman movie yet? No, Uncle ben hasn't seen it either.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy But I just kissed you... And I have rabies!

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roses are red so is ur face dont look at me like im a crazy bitch

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Chlamydia.

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What's worse than a car going backwards on the highway? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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What's funnier than an anti-joke? Sarcasm.

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If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

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Why did the black man give his seat to a white man? Because the white man had a leg injury, and the black man was being a courteous good samaritan.

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Why doesn't God like fruitcake? Because God doesn't exist.

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

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What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

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What did the Norwegian say to the Englisman? ØLølølølÅæåøåæøåæåæåæåæåæåæåæå

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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How to pick up chicks Pick up a chicken but must be a baby

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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