Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a speeding moped.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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What does a black kid get from Christmas? a blunt

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

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Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

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A priest, a jew, and a pirate walk into a bar. An exchange of dialogue occurs with the bartender and hilarity ensues.

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Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? It didn't. Anyone who would believe that is a complete moron.

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How did the boy break his hand? He slammed it in a car door.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To rape the girl on the other side.

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Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

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Why was the asian a bad driver? Because while he was driving a leprechaun was punching him in the face.

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What did the American WWII soldier say to the Feudal-era samurai? Nothing, because the two lived on completely different continents and in completely different time periods.

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the holocaust

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how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust Whats worse that the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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Why did the black man give his seat to a white man? Because the white man had a leg injury, and the black man was being a courteous good samaritan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops