-knock knock -i'm not at home, go away!

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What ticks and makes a very loud noise? the bed

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Doctor: I got bad news and worse news Patient: Whats the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live Patient: Whats the worse news? Doctor: Your mom died this morning

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? Being raped... What's worse than being raped? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two flies in your soup

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What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

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SQUID DOMINATION!!! Squids WILL Take Over the World!!!

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A jewish man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder, the bartender asks "where'd you get that" the man replied "at a pet shop"

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A rock walks into a bar. The town goes into extreme panic and is abandoned because rocks are inanimate objects.

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A bear walks into a bar. Animal control was contacted and the bar was evacuated.

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

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What is worst then a blond trying to pass collage?....... There is nothin wrong with that

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what did the white man say to the mexican man when the mexican stepped in poop? you have poop on your toe

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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Why couldn't the boy turn around in the hallway? Becasue he had a javelin through his head

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Why is nate asian? no one knows neither of his parents appear to be of asian desent

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Q:Why did the man fall down the stairs? A:Because someone pushed him down.

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Its true, he didnt write that!!

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knock, knock who's there? boo boo who? sorry i dont know anyone named boohoo so get the hell off my lawn

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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Why was a member of the KKK laughing at another member who was his friend? Because he had just divorced his black wife who he recently found out that he had received AIDS from.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Who the hell are you?

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Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, but she had anal hemorrhaging so it really hurt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops