Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Boy: Will you go out with me? Girl: No. Boy: Why? Girl: Because I don't want to.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's funny? Nick Sotelo

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

catlin: hi Thomas: shut up bich 12 assssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssl;

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? The bench can support a family.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other boy fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third boy fall out of the tree? Prepressure

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? A holocaust in which all the Jews are raped by giant scorpions, and then killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

"Where are my shoes?" asked the man. "On your feet," I replied. "You are a paraplegic and have no feeling from the waist down."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

They say Jesus Christ walked on water and that humans are made up of 70% water...... So if I walk on babies, am I 70% Jesus?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's in a glass and drinky? A drink

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why is Suzie at the bottom of the cliff? Because I pushed her. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops