Shit, I can't think of anything to write. That does not mean I'm black

thumb_up thumb_down -56

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -58

A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

thumb_up thumb_down +45

how many jews can you fit into a car 5, two in the front three in the back

thumb_up thumb_down +45

what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A dyslexic blind man walks into the bartender behind the bra

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

thumb_up thumb_down +43

I saw a sign saying Falling Rocks. But no, no it doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

TRICERATOPS!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you a black man who isn't flying a plane? Well, that depends on his occupation.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why are jews so cash hungry? because like the rest of us they are looking for a way to survive and feed their family.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

-Look! Up in the sky! -It's a bird! -Yep.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call an obese kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops