How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

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Why did Brooke go to the bathroom? She had to pee

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What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? Were both fishermen

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Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

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Q:What do you call a sheep with no legs? A: A cloud.

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Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

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my boloney has a first name its OSCAR, my boloney has a last name its MEYER.. now bend over son while i shove my boloney in ur butt!

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Yo Momma is so fat she is at risk of contracting Type 2 Diabetes.

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chinga tue madre Ryan

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What do u do when life gives u lemons?? Eat them

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Why was the little boy reluctant to approach his father? Because his father was a rotting corpse.

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whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

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Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: the WNBA

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If I tell you that seeing you happy, is my main motivation towards accepting right now, would you believe me?

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What is older than history?

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Women's professional sports

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Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

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Why did the little boy viciously slash the orange object with a carving knife? Because it was Halloween.

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What is a black man's favorite food? It differs from person to person.

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did u hear the one about helen keler neather did she

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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