What did the Orange say to the Apple? Nothing. Both of them are lifeless objects, thus lacking the ability to speak.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

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What is green and has 4 wheels?... Grass, I lied about the wheels

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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What is worse than Shaq's free throw percentage? The free throw percentages of Reggie Evans, Bo Outlaw, Andris Biedrins, Wilt Chamberlain, Chris Dudley and Ben Wallace.

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Yo momma so fat that when she sat on the bible jesus poped out.

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Why was the old lady sad? Her husband was raped by an angry gallon of milk.

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What did god say when he saw the first black person? He will do alright for him self

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Knock Knock F*ck of I'm watching p0rn

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh wait... I'm blind.

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Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

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what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

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knock knock whose there cash! cash who i don't want any but i'd like some peanuts

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I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

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Why do so many people troll on the internet? Because Hitler was awesome!

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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Check out page 4016 :)

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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