How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

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a Polar bear in an Igloo.

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Q: What did the shark say while eating the surfer A: Nothing, his mouth was full, and besides....sharks cannot talk.

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What did the dead man say to God? I'm dead.

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What did Kim Kardashian say when she got a breast implant? DERP!

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When Life Gives You Melons... You're Probably Dyslexic.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in every apple.

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

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Knock knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? NOTHING, because NOTHING rhymes with orange!

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What do communists and strawberries have in common? You can eat them.

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What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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A student often slept through his alarm, which led to a lower class attendance rate and thus a poor performance on his exam

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

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Asians.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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