Knock Knock. Who's there? Your roommate, I forgot my keys.

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Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

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What is black, can fly and sing? R. Kelly.. "I believe I can fly"

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I kinda said I did not want to know, sooo... Want to meet up tomorrow? Like for realsies? In that case tell me first (then show me tomorrow as proof), your cough... Vagina, I dont care if its shaven or not, but does it have red hair?

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how old is god? i don't know thats why i'm asking you. by: Brennan pickrell

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Why did the hipster's coffee burn his tongue? He drank it before it was cool.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had no conscience and therefore was not able to backup the very reason that he crossed the road.

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A black man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" He says as the Klu Klux Klan beat him with sticks

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Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

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why did no one like Ashley? because she was a bitch!

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How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb?? None it is physically impossible

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Knock Knock Who's there? no one, you've got Psycosis

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How do you confuse a blonde?? Throw her in a circle room and tell her to find all the corners If she comes out and says I found the corners.. then your screwed

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What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

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What did the butler say to the guest while his master is in the bathroom? Butler: "Sir, will you wait while the Master bathes?" Guest: "How long will he be, I'm quite busy!" Butler: "He shouldn't be long sir, he should be finishing up now."

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Roses are red Grass is greener I think of you when I play with my weiner

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An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

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oh no a butt!!!!!!!!!! your stubid oh wait your right ahhhhhhhhhh

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what is juicy and smells like juice,but it is not juice? juice. i lied about it not being juice.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

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Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops