What did the mother give her family on christmas? Some gelt, dreidels, and Challah because it also happened to be Chanukah on Christmas that year

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After tesco's horse burgers, what's next? My lidl pony

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Did you hear about the man who went up into space without a space suit? He died.

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what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

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What did the pepper say to Mr. Peno? Hallo peno!

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"Is this the Krusty Krab ?" I'M TIRED OF YOUR SHIT TYRONE.

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haha

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What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

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im jackson, i have a small willy, and like to finger my dog

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What do you do when the Cubs win the world series? Turn the xbox off and go to bed.

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What do you call a Black guy who flies planes? A pilot

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how do you hurt sombody? cut off their legs.

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why did the man reverse time? because his girlfriend died,also this man was super

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Whats black, white, and Asian all at the same time? A panda

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What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him to the vet and have him put to sleep, it's the only humane thing to do.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

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Why was Little Timmy crying ? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus. Knock-Knock! Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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There are 10 fish, 5 of them drown, how many are left? 10, fish can't drown

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A Black Child just received his ivy-league diploma and hugged his dad.

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What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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Why was the little boy crying? Because his older brother was forcing him to pee on an electrical socket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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