If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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What's up? Your time.

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Knock knock.

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Why the chimp fell off the tree? Because it's dead.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A bike.

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How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

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Why did the man yell at his wall? Because it jumped out and scared him when he walked past

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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How do you know you're on a blind date with a black person? If they agree to eat at KFC in Compton (Wyndellberg)

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Mum, "Why aren't you listening to me, are you deaf or something?" Son, (Silence)...

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What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

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Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was Dead.

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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Roses are Red Violets are Purple But nothing rhymes with purple.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He applied for a Visa and was granted authorization to live and work in the United States on a permanent basis.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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I wish you were never born. Me too. Then I wouldn't have been raped today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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