Why didnt jimmy go to school? He had a hangover

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How many babies can fit in a dumpster? Let's not find out...

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Statistics show That people with the most birthdays Live the longest

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What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

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What's worse than having a worm in your apple? 2012.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, you are a liar, oh wait you're not!! MY BACKYARD'S ON FIRE

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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Women's Rights Movement

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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roses are refds violet are xaflj;k it sucks having turretts syndroewe

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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How do you catch wet wood on fire? Ask a business owner in Ferguson, MO, to keep it in their store.

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Why was the fat kid the last one to lunch? He'd had lead bricks stapled to his ankles by the skinny kids.

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Why did Steve Jobs step down as CEO of Apple? Because he died.

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What is the difference between an empty bucket and a bucket of water? The Water.

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Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

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How does an elephant climb a cliff who cares

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Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

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That awkward moment when you walk in on your economics teacher shagging Danii ... Anyone ?

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What did one planet say to the other? Nothing. Space is a vacuum in which sound cannot propagate due to the absence of a matter or particle medium.

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Why did Timmy drop his ball? Because he was hit by a bus. A) Knock knock? B) Who's there? C) Not Timmy

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When life gives you lemons, you throw them at your friends. If they throw them back, duck

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Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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