Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't the farmer shot him before he could have a chance at freedom.

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Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Murder his family

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what did the bull say when it got shot? nothing... its a bull

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What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

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Did you hear about the blind man who got stuck by a bus? Poor guy never saw it coming.

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Obama stumbles upon a KKK meeting. All the klansmen shake his hand and respect him because he is the President.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Q. What do you say when a baby gets hit by a car? A. Lol fail

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You know what's stupid and gay? Idiots and homosexuals, respectively.

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mexicans fishing

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Beka has AIDS

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? His car was parked across the street.

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot. WOW your racist!

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How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Your son Your son who? Your son who’s sick of having a paranoid mother who won’t just open the door!

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What did the man say to his wife. Hi

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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Roses are red, Violets are Violate and not fucking blue.

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How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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Hey ask me if i'm a train? Are you a train? No...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops