What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

Eric is gay Ha

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your roommate, I forgot my keys.

Why did John suck at sports? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

Your momma has such a bad pancreas that it releases insulin into her bloodstream all the time. NOT just in response to glucose.

What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

what long green and bumpy? a pickle

What did a pornstar say when she heard hard banging from the front door? Come inside.

y does byonce sing to the left? because black people have no rights

Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

what do you do if you see a black man covered in hot greece on the floor of the bus shelter? call an ambulance...

Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

What do you call a Simon with no arms and legs? Simon

Justin Bieber.

What did the gay man see when he looked out the window? A UPS truck that was shipping a monkey

Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways? Good question.

A: knock knock A: knock knock knock... A: door bell

Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

What did the cute little girl get for Christmas? Raped

so...um, yeah

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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