Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

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Whats worse than losing your phone? Buying a new one and then losing that

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How do you get a girl with two jobs to drop on her knees? Through a penny on the knees

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What does an elephant and a plum have in common? They are both purple... except for the elephant

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Ahellifiknow.

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What did the fan of Justin Beiber say? Nothing there are no fans.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? The pig rolled in the mud!

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i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis.

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Why did the black guy wear a hat? To keep the sun out of his eyes

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Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

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Alright so an elite group of Navy Seals walk into a mansion. They open fire on Osama Bin Laden and kill him.

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YES! EXACTLY!

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snowglobe

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Why did the blonde go to the post office? Because she received a phone call from them indicating that there was a package for her.

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Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

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jim is constantly asking bob the same questions, bob brings this to attention and suggests that jim might have amnesia. jim agrees and they move on iwth the conversation. minutes later jim asks a simaler question brought to attention earlier because he has amnesia

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ROMEO ROMEO WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? If I can't have you, I'm going to shoot you through the nails with a nail gun.

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Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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