Whats black, blue, and red all over? A man who has just been severally beaten.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Knock knock Whos there? Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Who's there?! "is anyone home this is Helan Keller"

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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I walked into my sister's room and slipped on a bra..........it was a boobie trap

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Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

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Wanna know a Chuck Norris fact? He is 72 years old and likely to die soon

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What makes you hate life and feel good at the same time? A rapist.

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Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

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what kind of sex did ethan have? webcam sex

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Why did the man get frustrated searching through a box of forks? He was looking for a spoon.

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Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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What do you call a boy with one arm one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

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Who's Juan? DIS ONE

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Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

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*prepares this to get negative votes*

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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whats worse than getting raped by ben rothlesburger well rape-victims claim that rape has ruined their lives and most of them go into deep depression and need therapy so maybe the only worse thing is getting raped again by kobe ---sticksack

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an open hole Poor body disposal practice

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a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

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What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your dad you're gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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