How many black guys can fit in a minivan? Eight.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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What's scarier than the most horrifying monster you can think of? The thought of Donald Trump becoming president!

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A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

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Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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Angus is so Scottish he wears a kilt when it is socially appropriate.

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Why couldn't the Indian kid read? He got shot in the eye.

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What's worse than failing your midterms? Child abuse.

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why did Kelsey fall off the swing? because she has no arms Knock Knock who's there? not Kelsey

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So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he was late for his uncle's funeral, which was taking place in the church across from his apartment.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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I hate weddings! Old people always poke u and say "ur next" so I've decided to do the same to them... At Funerals

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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Wenis Penis

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a convicted cannibalistic rapist.

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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What do you do when you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath? Laugh at him

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Your mom is not fat!

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What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive hair traits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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