How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

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What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

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If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

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Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Your momas so fat her doctor put her on a diet plan.

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Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

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your brother so fine that hes skinney

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What do get when you mix cancer and a bike? Lance Armstrong

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What's the funniest thing about this website? Everyone thinks their fucking hilarious because they keep making jokes about Sally who has no goddamn arms and little kids with terminal cancer

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good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

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Q: which of the following is a prime number? A: 17

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One because lawyers are usually well educated and know how to screw in a lightbulb

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Roofs are Red...I have a Cunt!!!

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why did the chicken cross the street i dont know thats why im asking you

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What's worse than the Holocaust? • • • Stubbing your toe.

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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What's another word for Manslaughter? My new Hobby

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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