What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

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how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

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Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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Your momma is so black that she probably has ancestors indigenous to Africa.

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OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

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What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

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Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

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You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None we have mexicans for that

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A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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