Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

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What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

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Knock knock Go fuck yourself

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing

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When life gives you lemons you mix them with vinegar to make a drink that will help your high blood pressure.

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Yo mama is so fat she probably has diabetes, poor circulation in her extremities, and cannot ride anything at Disney World.

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Ey hornboy give es a SCAB

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

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Why did the boy give the girl flowers? Because her parents died in a car crash and he felt bad.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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Q: Guess what my Mom and Dad did last Night on the Kitchen Table.... A: Had Dinner.

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Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Why did the man pull out his chainsaw? To get rid of a tree in his front yard.

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Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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