Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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What's big, an instrument, has black and white keys, and is located in the bathroom? I don't know. A piano. But why in the bathroom? Don't tell me how to furnish my house.

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand. thats impossible, because nature says that ducks cannot walk.

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800 people died last year. end of story

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Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

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What's the difference between men and coca-cola? I don't like coca-cola

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Okay, are you a tree? A: No, no I am not.

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What do you call a gay mexican on welfare? poor

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and so do you happy valentines day!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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