What did the homeless man say to his friends? He doesn't have any friends.

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Knock knock Who's there? A Jehovahs Witness

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How did Jimmy get hit by the car? He dropped his Ice cream cone.

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Don't make jokes about the Holocaust. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off a watchtower.

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What happened to the old lady with a hat? She fell down

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woman's rights

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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What did the potato say to the man It said nothing it is a potato

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there once was a cat it was brown? fus-roh-dah

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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What do you call your mum without an umbrella? Saturated Fat

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A man and a midget walk into a bar each carrying a suitcase. They were stopping by after work.

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Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? Your mom

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Hey, do you wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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What did the Asian father say to his son when he got a b? Good job son!

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? names.....

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Why did John fall off his bike? Because, he is a fish and fish cannot ride bikes.

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How do you kill a bunch of flies in one swat? Smack an African kid in the face.

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What's faster a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk.

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What do you get when you cross a child and jt Rape

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Q: Why'd the guy have to fart? A: There was a buildup of methane gas in his colon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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