If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

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Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

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THEN WHO WAS FONE?

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Why didn't the man answer the Anti Joke? He had a severe mental disorder and was therefore incapable of speech.

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Ellen: Knock knock Steve: Who's there? Ellen: Banana Steve: Banana who? Ellen is offline and can't receive messages right now.

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What do grass and deer have in common? They're both green I lied about the deer

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Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

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What do you can a preschool on fire? A very dangerouse situation

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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If you can fit many clowns in a car and many mexicans in a car...how many mexican clowns will fit?

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

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roses are red, windows are clear, get off your ass and bring me a beer

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What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

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A skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a mug of beer and a washcloth.

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What's the difference between a Chinese guy and a bucket of fried chicken? There are numerous differences.

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bacon

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What's did the white man say to the black man? Howdy.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He stepped on a piece of a shattered bottle from a bar fight. Don't worry, though, it was just a little cut and he felt fine after a few beers.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

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Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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What did the Triceratops get for his birthday? Nothing. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops