A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

What has two legs and can't walk. Someone thats paralyzed!

"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't give you time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

What did the gay guy say to the other gay guy Want to make out?

Why was the boy crying on his birthday? He was being molested by his birthday clown who he was fully aware was his alcoholic costumed father.... And it wasn't his birthday.

A black man walks in to a 7 Eleven with a gun in his left pocket. He innocently walks over to the place where they keep all the hostess treats, and decides to purchase a pack of crumb donuts. The gun was purely for self defense, it was a bad neighborhood.

Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Beacuse she has no arms or legs. Knock knock. Who's There? Not Sally.

What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

what do mexicans and grass have in common You find them both in your front yard

Como estan lo que sienta in el tarea de tomo caliente? A. Los sientos! ~ this is why nobody likes Spanish

Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasnt wearing a seat belt.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

Knock knock? Whose There? Not Suzie, She can't knock

four score and seven years ago. . sharks with frickn laser beams attached to their FRICKeN HEADs.

Q:Whats worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A: 8 dead babies in a barrel. Q: Whats worse than that? A: A dead baby in 8 barrels.

I wonder what happen to John? Oh John I know what happen to him. What happened to him then? He was playing on the bridge and fell off on accident. Is he okay? Damn women of coarse he is not okay!!!

a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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