What do you get when you cross a bus full of cancer patients and a train full of children? A very sad train accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

whats 7+4? 74

thumb_up thumb_down -26

your mom is so ugly when she entered an ugly contest they said... ok

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why are they called waiters? Because you got to wait for them for a fucking long time. Why do they call you a patient. Just so you wont get impatient, if you do you are no longer a patient and they will ignore you.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

how many jews can you fit in a volkswagon? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 6 million in the ash trey.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I want seaman but sex with interracial men body builders. Please call me - 843-813-2788

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what does a baby with no lims get for christmas...cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

thumb_up thumb_down -26

a white guy, a black guy, and a latino guy all walk into a bar. The white man explains how his family is in turmoil because of his alcholism, the black guy shares his affection for crack, and the latino man explains why he shouldnt be here due to illegal immigration. They all hate their lives. Quack

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

thumb_up thumb_down -26

96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Doctor, doctor, I think I've got a problem! Correct, you have got acute cancer, you have 2 months to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did a black man put his hands on a white man? They were hugging.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why do girls think they deserve the very best? Because if an ugly girl in twilight can find a hunky vampire and ripped werewolf why can't they. And let's not forget those crappy Disney princess movies.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't know any better. It very recently was decapitated in order tofeed the farmers family.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

You the same as before? I am being a bit overly cautious I admit that, I would call you, the problem is that while you are either pretty good at pretending to be innocent and all, or actually pretty down to earth, I mean I would probably applaud you for tricking me into believing you are pretty sweet before, but I got my wife and her family to take care off now, its not quite the same getting stabbed in the back anymore,

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops