A giraffe walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?!" to witch he replied " I've just been mugged outside.".

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her she is a burnette.

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Roses are red Violets are silly Grease up your flaps Cause here comes my willy!

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Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? 17

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A blind man walks into a bar. But he wasn't hurt badly and continued on his way.

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Why did the black man approach a small white girl in the alley? He was knew in town and needed directions

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My real life is like my iPad I don't have an iPad.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

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Why did man lay down? His dog ate his genitals.

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i like my coffee like i like my women ... with big titis

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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What's worse then running out of toilet paper? Getting shot

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What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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Why was the boy sad? His cookies are gone.

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What do you call a shoe with no laces? Stilettos, sandals, flip flops, slippers, etc...

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What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

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They say laughter is the best medicine but i've always found it hard to laugh at cancer.

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What is worse than Jerry Sanduski? Nothing

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knock knock whos there knock knock whos there knock knock whos there poor billy didnt know that the knocking was just a tree branch and he stayed asking the same question for 21 years

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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