what do you call a sexy feminist? nothing, there are none

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Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

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Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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How do you get an alien baby to sleep? Well, first you need to get an alien baby.

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Jesse's mom is so god damn fat that it is an extreme danger just being around her

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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Why did the cat lick the black guy. Because the cat thought it was dirty.

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Jews

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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What is more boring than watching paint dry? Aids

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -George. -George Who? -George Carpenter, Remember? We were in the same class in third grade. -Come on in!

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A man falls off a building and dies on Impact

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what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

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Were you born on a freeway? because thats were all accidents happen.

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What do you call an Islamic man fling a plane? A very frightened passenger who took over flying the plane when the pilot collapsed due to a heart attack

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I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, wumbo, wumbology the study of wumbo

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Whats white and sticky? Marshmellows

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops