what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

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I wanted to burn alot of calories so i found a fat kid and set him on fire. :3

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

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How did the stuntman die? He was gored by a buffalo on a trip to Yellowstone.

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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Did nims chinnie? Fins.

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What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

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What's the difference between liberals and communists? Nothing.

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How do you make a Chef cry? You kill his family.

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Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

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Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

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A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

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What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

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Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

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If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Quite obviously, still quizzical, being that tests are just longer, harder quizzes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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