Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

Why were there a series of riots in london? The police shot and killed a man who was threatening them and thus caused his friends to get angry and caused other people to lose control.

What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

What is worse than standing on a plug? finding out your family have all been killen in a horrible car crash and your neighbours daughter who happens to be your friend has cancer.

Why was a black person on the run, being trailed by police officers? They were all late to work; their work places were coincidentally situated near each other.

Why did the black man eat lucky charms? Because it was breakfast time and he was hungry.

Q:Why was the frog sad A:He was stapeld to a boys face.

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I will slap myself once for every like this joke gets!

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

When is a door not a door? When your burns down.

What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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