What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's funnier than a dead baby? Almost everything. Infant mortality rates are incrediby high in many third world countries, and it is certainly no laughing matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call an old man who took too much viagra? And ambulance, because he could possibly get a heart attack from the fluctuations in blood pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

a duck walks up to a lemonade stand. thats impossible, because nature says that ducks cannot walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you make an anti-joke? Like this....

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms... Why didn't she get up? She didn't have any legs... Why didn't anyone help her? She didn't have any friends. Then she died

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what worse the 2 dead kids in a van 3 dead kids in a van

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock knock Who's there? Dishes Dishes who? Dishes a bad joke

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here's my number, So call me anytime you're free, but I can't guarantee I will answer because I could be at work.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

thumb_up thumb_down +27

fava beans

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops