knock knock. Whos there? YELLOW PEOPLE

I love you

What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet? One is made of flesh and can talk, think and do things. The other is made of metal and can only pull things towards itself or push them away. But strangely, the latter is a lot more welcome in most situations.

How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

New mission: refuse this mission

Knock Knock. Who's there? (Knocker runs for his life).

PhilosopherCon: "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?"

My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

Roses are red Violets are actually purple You should probably see an eye doctor.

Do you like cheese? Yes. Okay.

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A miracle

Do you feel lucky punk, well do ya? ..Umm i'm sorry :/ I'm not gay!... I'm into chicks...you know?!

Bob: Whats the difference between a fish and a microwave? Steve: I don't know Bob: Daaaamn your dumb!

Roses are red my name is dave this poem makes no bloody sense microwave

What did the plane say to the twin towers on 9/11 - Nothing, how do you expect planes to talk, stop hallucinating and stop with the drugs

What do you call a man with a diploma? A high school graduate.

Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

are u black unlucky

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination" and then he was resuscitated and became an atheist.

Q:What is yellow and has wheels A: A banana I was joking about the wheels

Why don't birds cry when they get hurt, lose a loved one, or watch opera? How the f*** should I know.

What's the differnce of victims of Brady and Hindley and a pile of dead babies? Some were born dead and others were raped then killed. Kelvin Yang.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because it felt like it, now mind your own business!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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