Why couldn't the Joker browse the internet? He was using Compuserve.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It passed away in its sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was the women not in the kitchen? Because she was probably doing something else

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What happens when Chuck Norris jumps in the air? He lands.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Please give money to a local Jew we have had such a bad time please ONLY people who are Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

dylan hodge wishes he could suck his own **** jokes thats what his mothers for

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do I make my penis 12 inches? Tug on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the difference between ice cream and babies? I don't stick babies in my freezer...

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Sandy hook

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why did the white man walking down the street have no hair? he had had cancer for 5 years prior.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why did the duck swim upside-down -he was on quack

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I wonder what happen to John? Oh John I know what happen to him. What happened to him then? He was playing on the bridge and fell off on accident. Is he okay? Damn women of coarse he is not okay!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

thumb_up thumb_down -29

30cm = 0,3meters

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops