What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? A long sleeve shirt

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Chuck Norris is so strong that he could bench almost 250 pounds in his heyday.

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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Don't make jokes about the Holocaust. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off a watchtower.

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An old man walks into a grocery store, but doesn't come out. What happened? A plane crashed into the grocery store, killing everyone inside.

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Why did little Suzy fall of the Swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

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A horse walks into a bar. Just kidding, it's a panda.

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Harry Potter: Hey voldemort, you wanna go get our noses pierced?? Voldemort: I killed your parents.

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Whats the hardest thing to have sex with? a goldfish.

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Why did the boy loose his glass with milk? He got hit by a bus.

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A sheep croses the road It gets hit by a car.

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How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

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A man and a midget walk into a bar each carrying a suitcase. They were stopping by after work.

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whats worse than a pile of dead babies?...... A carrot

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Did you know that all of the seasons are named after coils of metal? Except Winter... And Autum... And Summer...

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why does beyonce sing " to the left, to the left"? - cause black people have no rights

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Mike Mike who? Mike who you just called and told to come over Oh ok, come in

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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Why is the alien dead as a door-nail? Because the door-nail was never alive nor could it ever be dead therefore the alien must have never existed just like the life and death of the door-nail.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a trick question. Feminists can't change anything.

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Roses are red Violets are blue That's what they tell me Because I'm blind

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MILLERS FUNNY LIKE A JEW

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A man climbs a tree, falls, and breaks his legs. He will never walk again

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a penguin biked to a bakery he walked in and asked for buns the baker said how many 12 or 13 the penguin said it don't matter I brought my bike

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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