- Anti Joke

Whats the difference between a falcon and a deer? both live in water, except for the falcon... oh, and the deer.

Q: why did the boy walk into the woods alone? A: nobody knows he hasn't come out yet

Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

What was the old man doing in the parking lot. Looking for a place to park his car

What's funny about anti-jokes? Nothing.

Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

Why didn't the Mexican have car insurance? Because he was 12 years old and didn't have a car so he had no need for car insurance.

Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

Why doesn't Santa deliver gifts anymore? Because Santa died of a heart attack.

Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

How many blodnes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Approximately 17. with the addition of 6 brunettes.

Why couldn't Dumbo fly? Because he had just been killed by an African Poacher, and dead elephants can't fly. This is very sad.

What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Q-whats green and has eyes. A-A frog are you stupid

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

A man walked into a bar. It was very crowded so he decided to leave.

Why did Mufasa miss his doctor's appointment? Because he was trampled to death by wildebeest

One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

What do you give hobos? Febreeze

Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james