- Anti Joke

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

i have a pet duck, when i take it a bath i use cold water, if i use hot water it and i drop a carrot in the tub it will think im cooking it.

If Voldemort was gay who would be his partner? Happy potter

How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

what do you call a masculine female? a post op transexual

Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

Peas

could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurence? Does a bear shit in the woods?

Q: what did the white man say to the black man? A: hi

What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

Why did the black lady pick out a white dress? Because she thought it was a pretty white dress.

whats worse than someone blowing out all your birthday candles? a piano dropping on your head.

Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he was hungry. The teacher would stupid to say it was a piece of cake

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

How many people does it take to screw a light bulb? One, it's all the sex they can get.

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

What did the mother say to her son? I have Leukemia.

Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!