Whatever you do in life, give 100%… unless you’re giving blood.

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What did the coney say to the hotdog? At least i kill people.

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I own two ferrets. I was merely stating something factual.

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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What do you call two black men sitting on the porch? Craig and Smokey

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Yo momma is so stupid that she walked off a cliff.

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Where is the best place to hold a bridal shower? The Kitchen

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Why are there so many anti-jokes about refrigerators? Because the writer of the joke was pressured by terrorists that would kill him if he didn't write about refrigerators.

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Knock knock Who's there Banana Bananas can't talk. Crap he's on to me

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Roses are red Violets are black Why is your chest as flat as your back?

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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How do you fit 76 babies in a bath tub... With a blender. How do you get them back out? With tortilla chips.

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why did the person die? He was 90 years old and was sick. Its natural

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What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

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Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents

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why was the boy crying he had cancer

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What did the priest say to the Atheist when he walked into the church? How are you?

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What do you call a city that never sleeps? Cities cannot sleep; they merely represent a societal body of people living in a confined community. A city may have a prosperous night-life, however, cannot functionally "fall asleep" in the convential sense of the term.

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Roses are red violets are blue. Yes.

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HAVE A GOOD DAY. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

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Don't turn around when you're talking to me. Why? You will walk off of that cliff

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This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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A: Knock, knock. B: Who's there? The writer of this joke had no idea how to end this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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