Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

A black guy walks into a bar orders his drink and could not do it in a more civilized way

What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

Two men walked into a bar. I'm surprised the second man did not duck out of the way.

What's an Anti Joke?

National security?

Knock knock! Whos there? Me. Now open the door.

Why did Johnny fall of the Swing?? Because i hit him with a shovel

Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

Whats Jewish and Funny? A Jewish Comedian.

Q: What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? A: A set of Legos

why does the world spin? Chuck Norris says so

A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

What do you get when you cross Skyrim and Call of Duty? A video game that has similarities to Skyrim and Call of Duty.

Why couldn't Timmy go to the bathroom? He was constipated.

A priest, rabbi, and a monk are sitting on a plane. One is in first class, one is in business class, and one is in coach. It turns out they're all going to the same interfaith conference.

what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

a young boy with no arms or legs log rolls himself outside where he gets struck by lightning

A wise man once said...... I am a wise man

how many dead babies can you fit into a blender? 17 how do you get them out? Tortilla chips, but you'd be arrested by that time anyway because you just murdered 17 babies

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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