Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why is the fat man fat? Because he has an extremly bad metabolism which makes him gain two pounds from eating one cheeseburger

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What word rhymes with orange? -Adult onset diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A new scientific study has scientists baffled as it clearly shows that teen sex drastically decreases at age 20.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

thumb_up thumb_down +24

So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

punchline below punchline above

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Man: Doctor, everything I touch hurts. Doctor: Okay. Let's test it out by first touching your leg. Man: It hurts. Doctor: What about your arm? Man: It hurts as much. Doctor: What about your back? Man: It still hurts. Doctor: I see......your fingers are broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops