What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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Atheism

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*knock knock* *knock knock * ? ? The man didnt answer because he died of a stroke

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Why are cats mammals? Because they are descended from primordial mammals in the distant past which are the common ancestors of all mammals.

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Tell me fuck you Fuck you No fuck your mum

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Q. What's brown and circular? A. MEATBALLS!

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8--------------------- penis

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What`s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff What did the banana say to the ear? Hello

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

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whats the difference between me and callum ? one soul.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. Any more than that and they would just be getting in each others way.

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What have the TV programmes Shameless, The Jeremy Kyle Show and Benidorm all have in common? They are all examples of modern British society

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Often, Asians argue that they can speak properly... Like instead of L's, they use "R's." Sure... http://eng.tekkenpedia.com/wiki/Leo#Introduction

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What's the difference between a black man and a Ginger? Their pigmentation.

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Q: Whats worse than finding 10 babies in a trash can? A: Finding 1 baby in 10 trash cans!

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live or die you decide to late time to die

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what's better than winning the special olympics?.. Not being retarded

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Why is a chicken coupe, a coupe not a sedan? Because a sedan would have four doors.

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Knock knock Who's there? You're You're who? YOU'RE MOM IN MY BED!!! (i know it sucks)

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Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Who has two thumbs and gets to go home tomorrow? Well, not your son. He's in a persistent vegetative state and we had to amputate both of his arms.

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What do you call people who play dance dance revolution? Dancers

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whats the difference between a dead body and a car with doors that open in a diagnal manner one was never alive to begin with

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops