How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

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A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

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Why are roses red ? Ass in my face .

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Q: What did the train say when it sneezed twice? A: Trains are inanimate objects, thus they cannot sneeze or talk. Are you an idiot?

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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Whats the similarity between a rabbit and a grape? There both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

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Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

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What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she was dead.

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Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

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There was a girl who had a dream of becoming a famous movie star. So, after five years of hard work and dedication, she didn't become a famous movie star. Dreams don't always come true. Refrigerators keep things cold.

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

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What do you call a squirrel in my yard? Dead.

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A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

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- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

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How do you wake up a black man? You stab him in the thigh.

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Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

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...The new series of spinoff movies from the worlds most frightening franchise! Pretty Normal Activity: Doing the groceries *****-Did not scare me at all :D! Ballbusters movie rentals *****- The demon never showed up which made this the scariest movie ever! Could not sleep for months... Whatyumean there is nothing paranormal in this? Aww FU*beep*CK!! Sumgay Inthestreet Journal *****-Pissed myself just from hearing the title got a stroke and almost died!, was it another Paranormal movie you said? Most overhyped comment we could find. Goddamn exaggerated movie reviews that fooled me into buying the original and expect something actually scary :(

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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