What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

Why are roses red ? Ass in my face .

A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

Men

Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

What did the Police Officer do after he made a positive identification of a Prostitute? He proceeded to pay her in cash for sexual favors because prostitution is legal in the state of Nevada

Q: What did the train say when it sneezed twice? A: Trains are inanimate objects, thus they cannot sneeze or talk. Are you an idiot?

What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she was dead.

What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

Whats the similarity between a rabbit and a grape? There both purple, except for the rabbit.

Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.

What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

the man was talking to a phone no answered cause he talking to a brick wall

A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

There was a girl who had a dream of becoming a famous movie star. So, after five years of hard work and dedication, she didn't become a famous movie star. Dreams don't always come true. Refrigerators keep things cold.

An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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