Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

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I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

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Why was the five-year old lying in the middle of the sidewalk? Because he was dead.

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Q: whats good about having sex with 18 year olds? A: there's 18 of them.

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The world blows up and everyone except for one man and his house make it out alive "Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Me" "Me who?" "Ummmm, its me, duh" It turns out the man was very bored and decided to go knock on his own door and tell knock knock jokes

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What's the one good thing about being a paraplegic? Nothing.

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If I met your mom before you was born, you would still be born.

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

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2 gay guys walk into the bar guy #1 say lets get drunk guy #2 says lets get wasted then #1 says... what do they do fall on the floor and do it.

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Why was the homeless man homeless? He lost his house in a terrible house fire, stretching throughout his apartment building, losing his much beloved wife and kids in the horrific accident.

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Your mom is so stupid she has to get homeschooled for college!

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this is stupid .... yep

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So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

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Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

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knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

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What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

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They see me trollin' They hatin'...

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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