When life gives you limes....... first you have some problem and second u throw them at people

Why did the cat die? Johnny put in the microwave.

why was the kid crying his dad is a alchoholic

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

How do you make a Flamingo cry? Hit it with a sledgehammer.

So a seal walks into a club.

What do Michael Jordan and LeBron James have in common? They both have won NBA championships...except for Lebron.

Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cross light said signal said "GO"

What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? A Holocaust. What's worse than a Holocaust? 3 bee stings.

Why was the guy coverd in garbage. I don't know but their are a lot of homeless people that can't afford the good stuff.

Yesterday I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.

My girlfriend wanted to talk about her feelings ... SO I TOLD THAT BITCH THAT... i really loved her and care about her feelings

How many Lepers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? People with leprosy should not be doing general house keeping.

Knock knock. Who is there? The FBI. They have a warrant for your arrest.

What is the difference between a brick and a ginger? The entirety of their chemical make up and physical appearance.

Ok is 25 really funnier than 24 because i think 8008 or 5318008 are way funnire tahn 24 or 35 just saying

a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

wanna hear a dirty joke? ...trashcan

Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the brothel for hot lesbian love.

why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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