What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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This is the same thing you told me once, believe me, it helps holding into it.

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What kind of bread makes pickles? Dill Dough

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WTF? If you look at life from the right, you might just see whats left, and just then I looked down at the midget as he said "Yo whats up?" I told him, hey do you like left? He said! DAAAAAMN RIIIIIGHT! I spent a while just standing there wondering what the hell was happening into my life, it was so right it was left and wrong... NeroMetal (No fucking idea what Neronism is, I just play streetfighter V and type books that confuse people)

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Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

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When Glenn looks in the mirror all he sees is Nicole Sipes.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

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Nero, I have 30 million dollars left, lets split them and leave ground zero behind us, I know it would make me happy to share them with you.

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Latvian guy said to the other latvian guy: ''Why did the chicken cross the road?'' The other latvian guy responded: ''In truth, i do not know. I have not seen chicken in 10 years. The last time was before the red army plundered my village. I can still hear all the screams from the women being raped. But, back to question. Where is this chicken you speak of? I have not eaten in days and my wife and children are close to starvation aswell''

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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What did the man say to the cat? Nothing. He doesn't have a cat.

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why did the baby have a hole in its head? it was shot

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What did the hammer say to the screwdriver? You're a tool

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u suck

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Your mom is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat outside, people notice a rather large woman who is enjoying the weather and wearing a yellow raincoat.

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there was a turkey sandwhich..... a ham sandwhich.... and a bologna sandwhich..... they had a short conversation before they were eatin by a fat kid

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Q: Why did the crazy man stare at the orange juice container? A: Because it started talking.

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why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

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What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping your biscuit in your cup of tea.

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What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

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What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

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Why did the man fall on the floor? He had a heart attack.

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Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops