What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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A man calls his wife, but she doesn't pick up. He comes home and shouts his wife's name, but no one responds. He walks upstairs and sees the bedroom door half-opened. He enters and sees his wife sleeping.

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The Charlotte Bobcats

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roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

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You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

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Knock Knock Whos there? Your neighbor.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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Why did the homeless man not get any ice cream from the store? Because he was not very bright and didn't try in school. Therefore he couldn't find a job or get his job back at the janitor at Go-Mart. This proves that not doing your school work correct can really effect your future. Plus they was sold out of chocolate.

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why do elephants have such flat feet.....? from all those damn trees they have been juming out of....

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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You stink so bad that you should cleanse yourself via shower and/or bath.

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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How do you end a sentence

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Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

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What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

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If life gives you melons, you have dyslexia.

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What do you get if you cross a motorway with a lawnmower? Killed.

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What did the black man do when KFC got his order wrong? He gave his receipt to the cashier and kindly asked for the correct meal.

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I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

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knock knock whos there? your neighbor, dude im sorry but i swear i didnt see your kid on my drive way.

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

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What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

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i Have read and agreed to the terms of service

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A drunk guy walks out of an AA meeting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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