What do chinese people eat? Chinese food.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

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Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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wanna hear a joke? yes

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Q: Why did the little girl scream? A: She didn't have a rape whistle.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

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How many fingers do u have? 11 Start with left pinky count 10,9,8,7,6 then 6+5=11

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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how do you know when your in love? massive erection.

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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what did Susie, the girl with no arms, say after she fell off the swing? nothing, she was killed on impact.

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Two Muslim men board an American Airlines jet. Nobody feels threatened and engage in friendly conversations with the passengers. The aircraft explodes due to poorly manufactured engine parts made by small starving children.

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What do you call a good anti-joke? something you feel like you should go to hell for laughing at.

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How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

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Women deserve equal rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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