Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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The adventures of HAROLD THE MONGOOSE: Harry dug a hole. He did not like that hole so he dug a new one. He liked that hole so he did not dig another one. Harry slept on a rock. He did not like that rock. So he smashed it with a ham. Harry found a new rock. He liked that rock so he didn't smash it with a ham. Harry ate a snake. He did not like that snake so he regurgitated it. Harry ate another snake. He liked that snake so he did not regurgitate it. Harry encountered a bush. He did not like that bush. Unfourtianately for Harry, that Bush became president.

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Kittens are orange, puppies are grey, and they both make good pets

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What is the best game in the world? There is no answer because that would be an opinion and opinions cannont be proved or measured.

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Why did jim all I over? He dies

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not a blind guy.

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Knock knock? Who is there? Nobody. Those were noises coming from your head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because animals walking across a paved street is a very common occurrence ever since the industrialization of the modern world.

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Forget about them, do not compare yourself to those beneath you, you always wanted to help as many as possible, in a world where everyone fights for themselves only.

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why did radio not get the song? beacause he radio didnt work.

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What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nazi Nazi who? I am the mailman. I nazi your mailbox. Can I leave the letters on the front porch?

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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Yo mama's so skinny, she should probably go in for eating disorders' counseling.

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Why didn't junior say thank you for his christmas present from his dad? He was raised by two moms

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What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

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Tommy got neutered.

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What do you call a woman that is on her period? -A girl that is expirencing a difficult to control flow of blood through the clitorus.

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If you play The Binding of Isaac backwards, it's about a boy who summons Satan in hell and ascends multiple floors and eventually revives him mom by sucking in tears. He eventually becomes less of a monster until going back to his home and living hapily with his mother, completely forgetting anything had ever happened.

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Why didn't Rosa Parks get her fat black ass up? Because she was an avid partier and had anal with roughly 8 different guys the night before.

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What do you call an African-American, Latino, Asian, and Canadian all on the same football team? A reasonably diverse group of teammates who are most likely good acquaintances.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops